Possibly Pointless Post

Does alliteration make me look smart, or like an asshole.

I spent the day knitting at the park and guess what I have? A super cool sunburn that is on only half of my back that's peeking out over my shirt. It looks pretty awesome, let me tell you.

While I was at the park I saw a bunch of cool people, like a dickbag who thought it was cool to play the drum (yes, one drum) by himself on a bench, and then sitting in the grass shirtless. He kept doing it on and off and I had to turn my music up way too loud so I didn't hear his shitty drumming over it. Fucker. He was there for at least an hour, seriously damaging my calm. 

Look at this fucking asshole. What a goddamn chode.

Skinnier Me Proof...

Check out the sluttiness of that shirt, guys! I bought it months and months ago as sort of motivation to lose weight. It looked alright when I bought it (lies) but way better now! It has straps, but they pop off because it's made by Malaysian children, and they're not that great sewing. And also because my boobs are heavy and they're weak little removable straps. I'll have to sew them on because strapless + D cup is not a great combination. I figure I'll bust it out at RJs and see how many guys try to roofie my drinks. That's a good gauge for how attractive I am, right?

Neil Gaiman is a Creative Genius

I'm reading The Graveyard Book for the second time. Finally. There are lines and paragraphs in this book that hit me so hard I need to read them over again.

Like that one. I ache to be this good.

If you haven't read this book, go buy it (yea buy, not download), and start it immediately. It will take you about a day. Maybe two. If you don't like it, well, then you're wrong.

Or, you can dislike it, but you can't say he's not a fantastic writer.

Guess who stopped biting her nails?

It might not be a big deal to anyone else, but my nails are getting SO LONG (for me). I'm very proud of myself.

They will be painted with that polish, which is called Not Like In The Movies and is, embarrassingly, from the Katy Perry/OPI collaborative collection.

Better Mood/Things I Love

I was going to talk about rejection, and how much I fear it, but instead I will just give you this. I don't want to think about the bad when I'm feeling quite good right now.

Brown Penny

I whispered, 'I am too young,'

And then, 'I am old enough';

Wherefore I threw a penny

To find out if I might love.

'Go and love, go and love, young man,

If the lady be young and fair.'

Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,

I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,

There is nobody wise enough

To find out all that is in it,

For he would be thinking of love

Till the stars had run away

And the shadows eaten the moon.

Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,

One cannot begin it too soon.

----W.B. Yeats

I love my friends, who help put me in a better mood. I love stupid videos of otters holding hands and hopping up and down (and squeaking!!). I love ridiculous movie plotting and casting. I love laughing so hard I worry I've annoyed the person I'm talking with on the phone. I love the fact that sometimes I just need something very simple to get me back on track, and ready to renew my efforts for making my life better. 

My Journey into Optimism...

is going well-ish?

I suppose the above statement basically explains it, huh? Well-ish. That's about my level today. It's nice out, I got a new shirt today, and I am going to see a friend's band tonight at my bar, where I have money for ONE drink, which is good because I really shouldn't drink much. But I'm still feeling a little... meh, emotionally.

I've been applying for a few jobs, and I plan on calling them all on Monday to see if they've seen my resume and if they would like to schedule an interview. There's one that's already emailed me back, but it's probably the worst of the ones I've applied to because it's only temporary, but still better than nothing. I will call that one last on Monday to make sure that if anything else seems more lead-y I don't get too caught up with the mediocre one.

Optimism?

It's this totally new thing I've just heard about and I'm giving it a shot. Shawn and I had a big emotional talk (because I sort of freak out every few weeks now? Awesome.) this weekend, right before my period started, so I guess I could blame it on that, especially since it was three weeks late which is like JESUS! STRESS MUCH? My body can be such a bitch sometimes.

So anyway, Shawn and I talked and I was all "My life is a goddamn mess and I suck at everything and everyone hates me and blah blah blahshutthefuckupblah" See, I know these things aren't true, but when I get into one of these moods (always late at night, and they only last the one night, and they're pretty rare, honestly. And when I wake up in the morning I feel WAY better. Like I've had about three of them since Shawn and I started dating... and two were after we broke up.) there is no reasoning with myself. So he told me that I was too pessimistic and cynical and I was all "uhh, yeah. Obviously." and then he said "I hate that for you. I used to hate it about you, but I understand that's just who you are."

Whoa.