Nice try...

Alright Nature, I see what you're trying to do for me, but until you have a tree that sprouts money, you're not any real help for my problems.
A for effort though.

Knitting, which is gibberish to most of you.

Every few... months? I guess? I go through a phase where I don't want to read, write, knit, anything. I just want to sit and stare at the TV or listen to music or other types of doing nothing. I definitely wouldn't say it's a depression thing, although there could definitely be some sort of mild feelings of "ugh". I get those every few months. I'm pretty sure it's a lot more simple than that...

I found my calling:

I have never been more excited.

Fuck you, Douglas

This baby is an asshole.

Some years ago, friends of mine named the sun Douglas. The moon is Bruce, in case you're wondering. Bruce is a great guy. He's totally responsible for the ocean, and he does his damn job and does it well. Bruce would never hurt anyone. Douglas, on the other hand, is a fucking asshole. He's always chillin' behind clouds, and causing cancer and sunburns, and global warming. What a dick, right? The worst part? Someday he's going to fucking quit on us and destroy the earth. (just kidding, we'll do that way before then.)

Random Paragraphs Slung Together

So since I wrote myself a list of goals, I managed to complete... oh... none of them?
I haven't written anything new in Farthing, but I am waiting with bated breath for a bit of a review from a Darach, who is the first person to read everything except for the prologue. I feel like it might have been a mistake to let him read it. What if he wants to read more of it? It's going to be a while, probably. What he if wants to read other stuff I wrote? He better like chick-lit and sex scenes, because whoa. That's pretty much all I can write. That's not true. I'm awesome and can write anything I want, but it's all I can write quickly and easily. Seriously? Chick-lit is stupid fun to write. And what I write is only a couple steps up from romance. embarrassing, right?

Anyway, all I've gotten from him so far is that he really liked the prologue, then he was reading it again last night and said that it drew him in (or that was his excuse for not coming up with a retort when I handed him his ass) so that's good. I want it to have draw. I am excited to get working on it again... I don't know why I'm such a slack-ass when it comes to writing. Afraid to finish it and fail?

Possibly Pointless Post

Does alliteration make me look smart, or like an asshole.

I spent the day knitting at the park and guess what I have? A super cool sunburn that is on only half of my back that's peeking out over my shirt. It looks pretty awesome, let me tell you.

While I was at the park I saw a bunch of cool people, like a dickbag who thought it was cool to play the drum (yes, one drum) by himself on a bench, and then sitting in the grass shirtless. He kept doing it on and off and I had to turn my music up way too loud so I didn't hear his shitty drumming over it. Fucker. He was there for at least an hour, seriously damaging my calm. 

Look at this fucking asshole. What a goddamn chode.

Skinnier Me Proof...

Check out the sluttiness of that shirt, guys! I bought it months and months ago as sort of motivation to lose weight. It looked alright when I bought it (lies) but way better now! It has straps, but they pop off because it's made by Malaysian children, and they're not that great sewing. And also because my boobs are heavy and they're weak little removable straps. I'll have to sew them on because strapless + D cup is not a great combination. I figure I'll bust it out at RJs and see how many guys try to roofie my drinks. That's a good gauge for how attractive I am, right?