Sunday, February 28, 2010

I stepped on the scale today, just to make sure it wasn't playing a trick. 149.8 again. I am pleased, more than. Thrilled. 10 lbs exactly. I step in front of the mirror and lift my shirt and i can see there are changes already. Creases less deep, belly less full. My pants slide off my hips, they sag around my thighs and ass. I have never been more happy about clothing not fitting me.

It has been about three years since I started gaining weight. I started at 115 and when I got to 159 I was scared, SO SCARED, that I would break 160. I felt like 160 was where I drew the line, where i gave up and was just fat. Not just fat, obviously I am, or would be, more than that as my body doesn't define me. I'm saying that it felt like if I hit that mark I was telling myself I was content to being bigger than I could be. Should be. But I knew I couldn't let myself get there.
On January 2nd, I gave up on my old ways. I was spurred on by a friend losing 50 lbs with a lifestyle change that involved exercise and eating better. He looks SO great, I can't believe how quickly he did it and how good he looks. I haven't really involved exercise much, other than moving into a house with stairs, but that part is coming soon. It's not that I don't want to work out... or that more like I don't want to want to do it, it's that I think about it and say yes, that is a good idea, but I'm watching TV, or playing a game or messing around like an idiot on my laptop wasting hours, precious hours of my life I'll never get back, doing NOTHING worthwhile. It's laziness, embarrassingly pure and simple.
BUT! With a bit of potion control, calorie checking and dropping soda, and most candy/donuts (sort of) I have already lost 10 lbs. And the best part is that I don't miss the old foods too terribly. Lately I have been getting donuts with lunch but not every day like I used to (so dumb). Since January 2nd, I have drank three Dr. Peppers from restaurants, and one Sprite with blackberry. I did not get refills and told the waitresses to only give me the one soda, then it was water after. I am not subbing soda for juice which is still full of sugars and calories, instead it's sparkling flavored water that tastes way better than I ever thought it would. I drink them like they are going out of style. They may give me brain tumors some day, and I'd really prefer that they don't but at least, for now, they're helping me lose weight.
I also, for the most part, gave up fast food. We ate WAY too much of it before which is terrible and an epic waste of money. And stupid. I have probably had that only a handful of times since the second and I'm really pleased with my progress so far. Now if I could only make myself use the Wii Fit more often, things would go along much more quickly.

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