Friday, June 11, 2010

A Serious Confession

I have been letting fear rule parts of my life for a long, long time. I couldn't accurately guess when it started but it must have been around middle school age. Maybe it was when I got on stage to try out for the middle school production of Our Town and completely forgot the monologue that, as a 12 year old, I was out of my league and completely drowning it. I mean... Shakespeare? REALLY? I don't remember exactly what it was, but I certainly didn't understand what they were talking about... I just had no idea what to do, and no one to ask for help from.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sometimes when I see the garbage people pass off as "crafting" or "art" I just want to tell them they're fucking terrible.

I mean.... slapping stickers on something isn't art, you fucktard. Otherwise, my three year old daughter is probably still more talented than you.

Whoa. You put made bingo cards into a really shoddy (and shitty) looking lampshade. I bet your decor is awesome...

I also bet your house is yellowed with cigarette smoke and even your mangy cats have emphysema.

Yes, I get it. This makes me a bad person. Whatever. At least I'm a bad person who is creative. And has the good sense not to post garbage online and pretend I'm fucking awesome.

Aaaaand it's time for bed for this grumpy bitch. Maybe the 90-year-old hips 'God' placed in my 25 year-old-body will stop hurting at some point and I will stop wanting to inflict physical harm on everyone.

Upside:24 days til I get a kitten!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Somehow writing that entire post pulled all of the get-up-and-go right out of me. And now I'm half-watching Joe Biden talk to some guy on channel 2 on accident (he's not talking on accident, I'm watching on accident) and I realize that I don't really care because whatever. He's not Sarah Palin, therefore, I'm alright with him.

I think that's going to be my basic judge of human character. It will be two simple questions:
1. Are you Sarah Palin?
2. Do you like Sarah Palin?

If both answers are "fuck, no!" you're alright in my book, friend.

Aw, hell. It's time for bed.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A completely different post than I planned on writing, even though I hadn't planned anything at all.

I have too much to say, but it seems that none of it means anything... it's all just words and no meaning.

Writing it out is pointless but here I am, hoping to make some sense of the thoughts tumbling around in my brain... and now I don't even remember what I wanted to say in the first place. Either seasonal depression has left, or the change in my birth control was a good move. Either way, I'm feeling better than I think I have felt in ages, but honestly, with mild depression, it seems like you were down forever and you never actually felt up. Ever. It's all doom, and gloom and unending, unrelenting darkness and misery and you WILL NEVER FEEL BETTER. And then you do, and you think "hm... maybe it wasn't as bad as I though? Maybe I was never that depressed."

Sunday, February 28, 2010

I stepped on the scale today, just to make sure it wasn't playing a trick. 149.8 again. I am pleased, more than. Thrilled. 10 lbs exactly. I step in front of the mirror and lift my shirt and i can see there are changes already. Creases less deep, belly less full. My pants slide off my hips, they sag around my thighs and ass. I have never been more happy about clothing not fitting me.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentines Day NonCelebration Success!

So, despite not having any real plans, Shawn and I hung out together and had a lovely valentines day. We didn't have any arguments, we talked about our someday-plans, and we went shopping. We even went out to eat... only because we were already out and hadn't eaten at home. It was a complete success.

Even though Shawn locked his keys in his car this morning at work and had to get a ride home, then back to work, from his boss. Whatever. Things happen. It did not hamper our fun at all.

Funny story: I went to bed late last night feeling grumpy, wanting a dog, and hating people and being pissed about kill shelters and crying a little over the page of "last chance" dogs I found last night. Poor puppies. It makes me so sad that they're going to be put down soon because people are assholes, irresponsible or stupid. At least when we got a dog that we couldn't take care of anymore, we gave him to someone who would love him and take care of him. (plus it's good that we gave him to Shawn's parents when we did because I have developed a pretty serious allergy to him, so I wouldn't have been able to keep him anyway). OK, back to the story...

Friday, January 29, 2010

I have run out of room on my Netflix queue. It is really no surprise as the movie that I just put in the mail (at 12:30 am) I have had for at least three months. Classic Jewelie. I am now resolved to watch the shit out of my netflix movies so I can empty it out and add more TV on DVD.

Aaaand onto the real stuff:
The past few days I've been noticing the mess around me more. I think it's because I like this apartment, and I want it to look as decent as a bunch of non-matching hand me down furniture can. The walls are still ugly as all get out, but I'm not noticing that as much as I did when I moved in. You fill a room with stuff, and you tend to not notice (as much) what is surrounding that stuff, I guess. There is still SO MUCH MORE that needs to be done. I have finally finished all of the laundry except for a pile (enough for a small load) in Sophie's room next to her changing table, and the clothes Shawn and I have worn in the past few days. It's exciting. I don't think we've ever been at this point in the laundry before without spending about 50 dollars. Having your own washer and dryer is amazing. I can be the kind of adult who separates clothes by color and washer/dryer setting. I have a rack to hang things that shouldn't be dried! I shouldn't be excited about these things but I really am!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Secrets Revealed, Items Forgotten, Skills Taught, and Dealings of the Shady Variety

Today started out rather later than it was supposed to. I set the alarm in my phone and clicked the little button marked Sunday and that was that. I went to sleep and woke up annoyed to a phone calling, thinking "Who on Earth is calling me at this ungodly hour? Honestly!" then looked at the time... "Holy shit, 11? How is it 11?!? I set my damn alarm" and I opened up the alarm program and confirmed that yes, it's set for 9am on Sunday. And I realized what anyone reading already has. Today isn't Sunday. It's Saturday, and I set it for the wrong day. It was Connie who had called and was questioning whether she'd missed an important announcement like "We're not coming today." which, of course, she hadn't. I just suck at setting alarms. I texted Jen, got up, washed my hair and had to style it because I got a HAIR CUT!! (BAM! Secret revealed!!)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

When your chest is the tripod...











(bipod?) it's hard to get a good picture.


I keep trying to write a post on here, but much like everything else I start, I find myself getting easily distracted part way through and then just give up. Story of my writing life. My fingers were so not in the mood for typing- the laborious task of tapping key after key without any real thought on my part where they should be moving (amazing the way we can train parts of our bodies to do that) other than thinking the words. (I've never really thought about that before and now I can't get how strange it is out of my head).