Monday, May 2, 2011

Better Mood/Things I Love

I was going to talk about rejection, and how much I fear it, but instead I will just give you this. I don't want to think about the bad when I'm feeling quite good right now.

Brown Penny
I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.
----W.B. Yeats

I love my friends, who help put me in a better mood. I love stupid videos of otters holding hands and hopping up and down (and squeaking!!). I love ridiculous movie plotting and casting. I love laughing so hard I worry I've annoyed the person I'm talking with on the phone. I love the fact that sometimes I just need something very simple to get me back on track, and ready to renew my efforts for making my life better. 

And I'm loving this song right now.

I love Neil Gaiman, and how his mind works, and the worlds he's created. I think it's time for me to reread The Graveyard Book. And Stardust. And American Gods. And everything else he's written. Including the Sandman comics. I feel like such an ass for not reading them yet but I'm SO BAD at reading comics. 

from Instructions
Remember your name.
Do not lose hope — what you seek will be found.
Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped
to help you in their turn.
Trust dreams.
Trust your heart, and trust your story.
----Neil Gaiman

So I've been in a bad mood for a couple days... mopey and lame and kind of antisocial. Jen forced me out of the house last night and bought us pizza, which I really appreciate a lot. Holly joined us even though she wasn't feeling it because she knew I needed buddies. (I have such good friends) But as soon as I left Jen's house, the melancholy feelings crept back in and I woke up lame again. I skipped out on Nerd Night because I couldn't handle being in a big group of people. I hate when I do that... it makes me feel like a jerk. BUT! But but but!!! I am feeling better now and ready to finish this stupid job application. I also have a data entry test I need to do, but I need a number pad for it because my laptop doesn't have one and the horizontal numbers are impossible to type on accurately(for me). 

OH! PLUS!! Aaron is spinning my 8 oz of merino roving and holy shit it's turning out to be SO BEAUTIFUL! It's all merino but it has this gorgeous luster. This is a single ply, and I think he's going to make it a three ply? Something like a fingering or a DK weight. 
So pretty, right? I love love love the color! (Thanks, Aaron!)

Watching him start spinning that at knitting group on Saturday (before I was in a really bad mood) really re-inspired me to want to learn how to spin. He said he'd teach me, which is really cool. 
Now I just need to figure out what to do for him to say thank you.

Lastly, I get to try on my bridesmaid's dress for Lisa and Rick's wedding, and see how big it is already. I tried on a 14 at the store (which is a 12 regular size) and I'd already lost 8 lbs, so it was pretty loose on me, so the girl helping us told me to order a 12 (which is a regular size 10. Dress sizes are stupid when you're shopping at David's Bridal, evidently), and since then I've lost 11 more lbs, so I imagine that even that will be too big. I'm going to see how long it takes to get alterations done and wait til the last possible minute to have it taken in because I'm still losing weight, and I don't want to have to stop losing just so the dress fits me. I just hope that they can take it in enough.

And that, my dears, is a WONDERFUL thing to be worrying about!!

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